Category Archives: Interests

Knight William Book Gift by Abbey

As a continuation from my previous post about homemade Christmas gifts, here is the complete book that Abbey gave to William when he was really into being a knight (click on each to get larger, I think).  How she does these is to ask the boys to pose in different ways with different faces that she directs, but she doesn’t tell them what it will be for, though they know the subject, obviously.  Then, she finds images online and cuts out the photos and superimposes them and/or glues them onto the page.  She then puts each page into a page saver and binds it.


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Homemade Books for Gifts By Abbey

Several homeschool bloggers have been talking about what Christmas gifts to get their children, including homemade ones, such as at Magic and Mayhem and at Tricotomania.  So, I decided to share a great idea from my creative daughter for her brothers for Christmas pasts that have been true favorites from each boy who has received it.

Adam is her brother with autism who loves alphabet books and numbers.  So, here are three that have been made and a glimpse inside:


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Another brother with autism loves our cats, and even has created personalities for each one:  Socks is the patriarch and wise one, Xena is the tough warrier female cat (yes, her name fits perfectly), Sunflash is the large, fluffy wimp and Momma’s boy, Belle is the prissy female that loves to be beautiful, and Toby is the young rogue thinking he’s all that.  This brother was just into reading short chapter books, so she put her great writing skills to work and created one for each cat with a moral to the story.  Alex still references the lessons learned in these books as he grows within his (literal) outlook on life.

Last, Abbey made books for her younger brothers who love to pretend all sorts of things.  I will make two more posts highlighting in detail two of the more recent books where she really got good at this particular style.  In the meantime, here are a few more in the same genre:

TV and Play

Like most little people, my children have enjoyed screen-time entertainment.  Interestingly, though, as they became teens, most of them only watch limited TV; to those particular programs they enjoy, like Mythbusters, or a periodic special movie.

But no child has benefited from TV to an obvious level as I have seen with William.  No matter how many times he watches a movie or show, within minutes, or even before it is finished, he will be pretending some aspect of what he saw and was impressed by.  For instance, he happened across Reading Rainbow the other day that had a momentary focus on hockey, and what did I see outside within minutes?  This:


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He is the one on the right, and the clothes is the first place he almost always starts.  He has on pajama bottoms, which always allow for the “tight fit” of any type of representation needing that, with a sporting top that bears a number, tucked in, of course.  He had dug out of a not-much-used box of outdoor equipment and found these rollerblades of his oldest brother when he was that age!  (He had given his younger brother, Joseph, a turn with them in this photo.)  He then decided my hubby’s (old) golf clubs would make the perfect hockey stick, and a baseball as the puck.  The only cement we have around our home now is the area around the pool.  So, around and around he “skated” as he moved the “puck” around with his “hockey stick”.  This naturally led to talk of arranging to go to some homeschool skate days, which they have never done before.  Interests can arise anywhere; anytime.  For William, it is often first inspired through screen time.

He is watching Charlotte’s Web now; something he hasn’t chosen for a while.  Time will tell what will emerge from that today 🙂

Descriptions versus Labels

I wrote a post about how my 13-year-old son living with autism identifies himself as “autistic”.  He likes being autistic.  I both love that he feels this way, and at the same time, have some uncomfortableness with it.  This post is sorting through why I feel unsure of his label of “autistic.”

I think what surprises me the most is that none of my children until Alex has identified with a “label” before. They don’t call themselves homeschoolers or unschoolers; they are homeschooling or living life, in their perspective.

They are not right-brained learners or creative learners or visual learners; they simply “like Legos” or drawing or ceiling fans or trucks.

They are not autistic or ADD or dyslexic; they simply can identify their strengths and weaknesses.

So, to have a child identify with a label, “autistic”, is different.  I think I have steered away from “labels” because they are confining.  Someone said, “Once you define it; it can confine you.”  I talked about that here before.

Labels carry societal connotations.  Most “disability labels” carry a negative, needy, or “less than” perspective with it.  I will listen to people who work hard at helping their child with dyslexia, for example, take pride in it.  The problem with that is two-fold for me.  First of all, anyone who hears a label brings their own life experiences, beliefs and perspectives as they process the label and subsequently categorize it.  Our brains are meant to categorize based on these criteria.  Naturally, I know new connotations cannot develop without steps from those living it in creating the new reality.  However, that leads to the second problem:  Some labels are not as they seem.  Taking the dyslexia label, I believe this “difficulty” was created by our inaccurate perception of the needs of these learners.  There would be little to no “dyslexia” if we pursued the education of the right-brained learner in a way that works best for them.  So, the label “dyslexia” or “autism” is only as accurate as we understand today.  That’s limiting, in my opinion.Some of the treatments used for erectile dysfunction are penile prosthesis, psychosexual therapy, transurethral therapy, vacuum https://pdxcommercial.com/property/5201-sw-westgate-dr/ cialis without prescription pumps, hormone treatment, surgical treatment and psychological treatment.

That leads to why I chose a particular path in raising my children.  It was always important to me to have my children view themselves holistically, which more means to recognize their natural states of progression than to define the whole in a finished (and thus limited) way.  By using DESCRIPTIVES versus LABELS, it simply identifies a small part of knowledge gleaned from where we currently are on our journey already traveled while recognizing there is information yet to be gathered from the journey still to be traveled.  Thus, DESCRIPTIVES are dynamic . . . changing as the person does.  DESCRIPTIVES also tend to have positive connotations because they often describe character traits:  persistent, creative, flexible, compassionate, hard-working, goal-driven, spontaneous, etc.

On the flip side, when DESCRIPTIVES are used to explain weak areas, it tends to carry the idea that one knows themselves and it shares preferences.  Also, there is an opposite positive description.  I prefer hands-on and visual information to auditory.  I work best alone than in groups.  I find that I can work in a noisy environment if I use my iPod.

LABELS seem to paint large strokes that may not always be accurate.   With the word “autistic”, there is a continuum of possibilities to what that means.  I believe each of my five birth children have fallen somewhere on the spectrum of autism; but they are SO different from one another!  One word cannot begin to describe each person’s individuality.  So, by using that label, how does it help someone know you better?  A young woman at our church first introduced herself to the single young adults as “having Asperger’s.”  My daughter has befriended her not because of Asperger’s, but because she could tell she wanted a friend.  As their friendship has tried to blossom, the label “Asperger’s” keeps interfering.  “I want a job, but I have Asperger’s.”  “It’s hard living with Asperger’s.”  Abbey tries to ask her questions about her interests and such, but it seems to keep going back to Asperger’s.  Is this being comforable with Asperger’s, or is this being confined by it?

I love that Alex embraces his autistic traits.  He loves that he engages in his interests to a deeper level than most and a longer timeframe.  But, he could love his passion, his meticulous curiosity, and his love of learning that is more descriptive to what he loves than being “autistic” does.  Now, I am a person of balance.  I recognize the benefit of labels for ease of identification of likenesses.  I use the word unschooling, autism, right-brained learner, as some identifiers to meet others who will enjoy conversations, interactions, and sharing discoveries in a similar vein as myself.  Feeling good about oneself and all the parts that make up myself as I understand it today is important, including living with autism.  I don’t tend to throw out the baby with the bathwater in these instances.  I recognize what is good about Alex’s self identification because it is his life experiences and perspective that led to it.  I also embrace my perspective toward descriptions as my preferred mode of identification and can continue to utilize that genre even as each child chooses their own model of self-identification.  It’s all good in its own way.

Autism Pride

I was riding home in the van with Alex the other day, and he proclaimed, “I always want to be autistic”.   Surprised by this declaration, I asked, “Why do you like being autistic?”  He replied, “Because I like my interests longer than other people.”  He also said something else and for the life of me, I can’t remember it.  Drat!  I’ve got to remember these “Alex-isms”.  Here is a post evidencing Alex’s long-running interests, like ceiling fans, and here are some recent photos of him wiring up a new ceiling fan in his room:

This all goes along with some of the other recent things I’ve noticed about Alex.  Rearrangements were made in our church recently, and for the first youth group meeting, everyone was asked to stand up and introduce themselves and share something that they love.  Alex stood and stated his age, that he loved ceiling fans and cars, and that he is autistic.  What?!  That was surprising on one hand, but on the other hand, it wasn’t.  He is very comfortable with his autism, and now, he has indicated that he seems to take some pride in it.

I have a good friend, Deeneen, who first came into our lives as a therapy worker for Alex way back when we moved here in 2000.  Alex was only 5 years old and just becoming fully verbal.  She worked with him under my tutelage for 20 hours a week for 1.5 years.  (She also worked with Adam and William.)  She is an amazing person whom I love.  Anyway, she and I have been getting together again and renewing our friendship.  Deeneen has an infectious laugh that is quick and sincere.  Alex was always one to create one of these laughs.  She fondly remembered recently when Alex had used the fact that he has autism to avoid a task requested of him from her.  She has worked with the special population for years and years and she declared, “I have never heard anyone use their disability as a crutch.”  And she just laughed uproariously.

My sister, Tammy, was able to discover his “cuteness” when we stayed at her house for a week a few years ago.  She just got the biggest kick out of him by the end.  One incident that she recalled over and over to anyone who would listen was this:  Alex is big into knowing all his relatives through pictures (we live away from most everyone).  One of his cousins lived with my mother (his grandmother), and my sister lives behind my parents.  So, this cousin comes through, looks in, but passes through to where his other cousins were playing video games or something.  Alex looked at his Aunt Tammy and asked, “Was that (cousin’s name)?”  She replied it was.  He then seriously and bluntly asked, “Do you think he didn’t say hi to me because he’s not feeling well, or because he’s just plain rude?”  My sister cracked up and declared, “I think it’s probably because he’s just plain rude!”
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Alex knows I think he is the CUTEST thing ever in so many ways.  When he does something cute, or gives his cute look, he says, “Don’t have a cute attack, Mom.”  But, it’s SO hard not to 🙂  Of course, at almost 14, he’s definitely into being “handsome” now.  And, he’s constantly repeating the mantra, “You need to respect girls” to his little brothers.  I would love to be able to capture his “cute look”, but getting a picture without a weird fake smile is hard enough . . . LOL!  Here is a recent picture of Alex on the side porch:

I’m pleased that Alex sees autism as an asset, and I think it is for him.  Eli also is comfortable with the benefits autism brings him, though as he navigates community college, it is very important to him that others don’t view him as less than for living with autism.  He does not want special privileges, though he accepts that it would be helpful to potentially have certain accommodations in some circumstances (such as taping classes that are lecture-driven to help with his slower auditory processing capabilities).  Overall, although Eli notices the differences autism creates in his life, he is comfortable and even prefers what it creates (for instance, he’s not into being highly social and finds most teen interactions silly and not useful).

Anyway, I thought I would share some observations from my maturing boys who live with autism.

What I’ve Been Reading

I’ve not done a post like this, but have had some fun and/or informative reading choices lately, so thought I would share. The book series I’m reading aloud to the littles is this:

I’m one of those people who don’t like to reread things, and during the season of my two older children and their read aloud focus time, I had fun going crazy through tons of classic children’s literature. Now, I find myself having a harder time getting motivated finding good read alouds. To me, a good read aloud holds the children’s interest, but also MY interest. I just love how these authors wove their story about how “Peter Pan” and all the players, stories, relationships, locations, and personalities came to be. I find myself rushing to read aloud time again. I highly recommend it!

As for the reading I’m doing in order to benefit from it as it pertains to applying to a child circumstance, I’m reading this:

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I have several children on the autism spectrum and/or shadow syndrome level in the teen/young adult stage, and learning the social skills necessary to find their place in the world has been at the forefront for several of them. So, I’ve been buying social skill type of books up a storm. And, as we all know, there are more “no goods” than “goods”. I will highly recommend this book! It is not exactly a how-to, but it is real, hands-on, discussion about what life is really like living it and trying to understand it. It is broken down into ten “must know” social “rules”, but more what I would call social attributes.

I’ll try to go through a few of the chapters on my blog in the near future and share how it pertains to some of my children, the conversations we’ve had, and the ideas we’ve come up with in integrating the awareness created. I think “social skills” as it pertains to the “real and important aspects of it” is harder to teach, but is more a discussion point in talking over all the scenarios that have been lived, and may continue to come up, and the perspective the child has on it and/or needs to have with it, and creating enough history with each attribute in order to feel either proficient with it or at least enough awareness and strategies created to make it work for you.

Clear as mud?

Lego Mentorship

I came home yesterday and heard some instructional talk coming from behind the couch, which is William’s “quiet time area”. Hhmmm, what’s going on? I was excited to discover this:

I was excited for several reasons. First, there was a time when Eli eagerly sought out “pupils” for Lego instruction (and other related building materials) when he was about 11-12 years old. At the time, there were no takers. Now that he’s (recently) turned 17, he is not as interested in giving in this manner as he is so engrossed in his own passion pursuits (namely, computer programming). So, the fact that he was giving patiently of his time to his younger brother was exciting.

Second, there have been many attempts on my part to offer William, through his interests of castles and knights, to build the same with various building materials. Because of his learning differences, it was always WAY over his head to comprehend the spatial ability to do so. He always begged favor of Eli to construct any of these things for him. Further, starting when he was 3-4 years old, I began to slowly help him develop some visual-spatial abilities. Because he is a creative, right-brained learner, I knew this was intended to be a gift area that had been hindered by something, so I hoped to tap into it some way or another. He had a difficult time, to begin with, even placing blocks in the same location as myself. It took some time to build up imitating a two block construction, and he was only able to do so three-dimensionally, from a real person. He had to work up to having me hide my creation and then duplicating as well as duplicating it from a picture. Eventually, William was able to construct 7-8 block creations both in imitation and by picture.

Because Eli was a huge builder, we have all sorts of types of building material, but William has not gravitated to it, though I’ve seen interest, but because of his inability, he stayed away. Periodically, he gave it a try, but discontinued fairly quickly.
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So, to have William not only doing a difficult Lego creation was exciting, but the perseverance I was witnessing was next to extraordinary for him. He has always been one easily frustrated and always ready to quit (which I’ve worked gently but consistently on), so his sticking with it, even eagerly, and also patiently listening to Eli’s oral instructions, another weakness for him (as is for Eli), continued my amazement. Maybe because Eli struggles with verbals makes it a great match for William in how he explains things along with visuals and explanations of how he perceives spatially (one of Eli’s major gifts).

Anyway, after 2-3 several hour long sessions, this was the “product”:

By the way, notice William’s “outfit” . . . he is being a referee (his great right-brained asset is his imagination, displayed through self character and costuming creations) 🙂

Collecting Articles About College, Unschooling, and Success

I currently have two adult children, by society’s standards and their age identification process. My oldest recently turned 21, and my next will be 19 at the beginning of summer. Both have been unschooled all their lives. Both have found their passions. Both are working out their purpose.

Abbey, my only daughter, and the person who will be 19 this summer, is a fantasy writer. She has been dedicating full time hours to this pursuit for several years or more now. When college came up, at first, she considered it, but quickly thereafter, upon looking at the process of pursuing it and the sacrifices involved for the product promised, she immediately stated ‘you’ve raised us to question the status of learning traditionally, why should I embrace it now? I’m going to look into my alternatives’. She is doing just that.

Interestingly, the only reason she keeps the possibility of college on her consideration plate is because that’s where all her peers are, and she wants the opportunity to date and be married. She figures she may have to go where she can find lots of people in the same pursuit. Lately, she’s questioning the reasoning again. Just like the 3-18 age range, it DOES take more creativity to find one’s social outlet when the choice is to not engage in the institution that segregates these ages away from real life.

My oldest, Eric, just turned 21, is trying to decide which of his many interests and talents would be best to pursue in lieu of his recent realization that college is not for him. He stumbled on a site that was searching for voice actors for a fan-made radio drama that he auditioned for and received the part. This is an area he’s considered off and on for some years now. He’s also considering writing manga. He figures he will find other employment to support himself until his pursuits are realized in a way that he can independently exist. He originally had liked the idea of Japanese history, but figured it can be incorporated into these other areas as well as simply enjoying it for its own benefit.

It makes full sense that always unschooled people would continue that path as adults. I was able to listen to a panel of grown unschoolers at the Rethinking Education conference last September, and most had foregone college. All were finding their way based on what was important to them. That’s what I’m seeing in my children. They don’t know any other way than to exhibit silent resolve that they will make their way.

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So, I find myself needing to gather articles for my own continued deconditioning during this phase of life. Boy, I thought the kindergarten transition was tough; the adulthood transition is tougher out there with all the expectations for this stage in our society and all the underlying definitions of success. So, I revisit my original goals for unschooling: Encourage my children to find work they love so they don’t have to work a day in their lives. And, so the journey continues. And, they DO love their lives . . . today. They have loved their childhoods. And they expect to love their adulthoods. How many can say that?

The article I found by Alfie Kohn at the blog of LIFE with Granola *Girl* fits this well. It’s found here. Of course, the outspoken John Taylor Gatto is always a go-to guy when it comes to these matters, and Life Learning Magazine recently published his “A Letter To My Granddaughter” about “Don’t Worry About College”. And, while I was reading over at Life Learning Magazine, I found Sarabeth Matilsky’s article “Redefining Success” that I felt would resonate with my children.

I’m just beginning my journey in my search for inspirational articles and like-minded people in the same stage, so I’m open to hearing other recommendations from any of you who have found some good ones! Of course, my own journey started some years ago, when my oldest led me to unschooling in the first place. He hinted at unschooling continuing into adulthood when I wrote this, and this, so it is simply time for me to fully embrace what it all means and offers in our continued joyful living path!

“Steps” to Riding a Bike

It is common in autism to have low muscle tone. The reason it occurs is that often, our children don’t do the typical day-to-day physical activities that we all take for granted: running, climbing, exploring, skipping, gathering, jumping, poking . . . that overall general “business” that we all expect in toddlerhood and beyond. The reason this doesn’t occur for our children is because that “natural drive” is hampered in some way, imitation skills are often impaired, and, therefore, motivation to do something that requires effort for no known benefit wins the day.

Adam was drawn to swinging as his primary outdoor activity for the sensory integration it provided him. It was easy to set him on a swing when he was little and give him a push, with no effort on his part, in order for him to understand and literally feel the benefits to him, and the enjoyment factor. I always thought that Adam would really love to bike ride, if he would understand to give it a try. I brought out the typical tricycle bikes and pushed him on them and encouraged him, but Adam would simply not exert the muscle effort to either push the bike with his feet on the ground or on the pedals. Years passed, and the idea that he would love this activity stayed in the back of my mind, looking for inspiration to help me help him “catch the vision”.

A young lady named Jennifer worked with Adam in helping him learn skills back in 2001-2002. Jennifer was special in that she was in her early 20s, unmarried, but totally dedicated and passionate about the special population in her community. She had a lot of knowledge about resources for someone so young and without a direct link to special needs in her own personal life. After leaving our home and Adam, we have kept in touch consistently, as I do with many of our past tutors. Sometime in 2002, Jennifer directed me to a resource called Ambucs that identifies children who would benefit and enjoy a modified tricycle for special needs.

I found myself last minute at the open house and was impressed with the sincere interest in my child and his needs and the individualized attention they gave him in fitting him with a bike that might suit his age and needs. I was amazed to see Adam shoot off on that bike right inside that public building immediately upon sitting! He had never ridden a bike independently before, but there he was, doing so on this particular modified bike. We qualified to receive one and a few months later, did at a special ceremony. Here is Adam riding that bike (one pedals with their feet AND hands, which seemed to be the clincher for Adam in being so successful with it):


Adam spent some good months being interested in riding his Ambucs bike, including hauling it up to the top of the cul-de-sac, which is on a slight incline, and coasting down and into our driveway, which continues the same incline/decline. Eventually, this resource waned in progressing toward a regular bike.

A year or so later, I became re-inspired as to what might be the next “step” to riding a bike for Adam. I envisioned that if Adam could FEEL the thrill of the ride on a bike, that he had progressed enough in his cognitive skills that he might just become self motivated in figuring out how to ride a bike. I knew that it wasn’t that he couldn’t physically ride a bike . . . that wasn’t what was preventing him from doing so. It was pure and simply Adam’s lack of “natural drive” to desire such a thing.

So, to get Adam on a bike and riding, I thought . . . tandem bike! One Easter season, as I was shopping at Wal-Mart, I saw scores of tandem bikes hanging from their ceiling. I spied the reasonable price and determined that I would buy a tandem bike for Adam for his Easter present. (Our tradition for Easter presents is getting each child an outdoor toy.) He was immediately interested after seeing Dad and Abbey demonstrate the process. He’s been riding off and on over the past year on the tandem bike with Dad, Mom, or Abbey. Here he is with Dad:They brought gel and soft tablet version purchase cheap viagra browse over here in the light with many benefits.


A tandem bike allows a person to have the “thrill of the ride”, with the wind blowing though their hair, pedaling the bike (with some holding back from the person in the front), and the feel of what balance on a bike is like in all its forms. Sure enough, some months back, Adam started hauling out his younger brother’s little bikes to the top of the cul-de-sac, sitting on it, and putting his feet up in the air as he coasted down the incline into the driveway . . . on a two-wheeler! using his balance! enjoying himself! The conditions were all set up to take the plunge into independent, two-wheeled bike-riding 🙂

So, in June this summer, I fitted him out with Abbey’s old bike as the perfect size for him to learn on. Basically, because of the past experiences on the other “steps” to bike riding, he seamlessly learned to ride this two-wheeler. Here he is riding, including convincing him to put on a helmet (no small feat), as well as shoes (most of my children love barefoot, him included . . . autism simply adds an element of “love of sameness” that makes it difficult to convince a child to do something different). Here’s a picture:


We’re not at the stage where he’s going off doing any more than “practice rides” at this time, but as time continues, I feel confident he will go venturing on his new mobile ability. In fact, as his imitation skills have improved enough that it inspires him to try new things, and as he watched his much younger brothers catapulting their bikes down the more serious decline of an empty lot across the street, I found myself seeing Adam hauling his bike to the top of this lot and coasting down, with his feet out, like his little brothers.

Tears on many levels . . .

I thought I would share our process for any others who might benefit.

Cats and Star Wars

I’m going to do a little showing off in this post 🙂 Abbey has been making awesome and creative homemade gifts for her family members the past several Christmases. This past Christmas, Abbey combined Alex’s love of our five cats, pretending they are interactive with each having their own “voices”, his love of Star Wars, as well as viewing videos over and over again into an awesome homemade movie starring our cats in a Star Wars theme. If I do say so myself, it is AWESOME.

Abbey has been working hard over the past some months to try to find a way to put her video on You Tube. Through much learning and troubleshooting the process, she has finally accomplished it by putting it in three “episodes” to view the whole thing. You can link to Episode One, Episode Two, and Episode Three.
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To give you a little backdrop to the personalities of the cats, Socks is the “old patriarch” of the home, Belle is the “pre-Madonna”, Sunflash or Sunny is the “cry baby”, Xena is the “girl warrior”, and Toby is “the rogue”. Enjoy, and stay tuned for a surprise extension of the ending (hint, “The End” isn’t completely the end :-))