Category Archives: Spiritual

When Love is Blessed

I don’t believe in coincidences.  If I notice what others consider coincidence, I recognize it as the hand of a loving Heavenly Father pouring out His blessings.  I  haven’t blogged since mid-April because my daughter, Abbey, returned from her year at college on April 22.  She is my only daughter and I adore her and our relationship, so I was reconnecting with her in person.  However, within a few weeks of her return, a love interest captured her attention, and thus I have been enjoying watching her journey unfold.

Ben and Abbey at his place

So, here are the evidences that Heavenly Father is blessing Ben and Abbey’s love:

The timing is perfect.  Abbey did not have much if any dating experience before going out to college.  She attended two semesters and a term and was able to date frequently, including a couple young men from whom she was able to learn a lot.  In the end, she had figured out what she was looking for in a relationship.

Ben converted to the church 2.5 years ago and has been searching for a love that is meaningful, fulfilling, and with eternal depth.  He switched housing last September which meant that he needed to attend the ward (building) that our family is in.  Initially, he thought about requesting staying where his friends and support were, but his bishop counseled him to go where he was meant to go, so he did.  Though he didn’t really make any friends, he came every week and faithfully served in his calling (assignment) to teach a Sunday School class.  His obedience and patience paid off when he met Abbey.

They both felt a strong initial attraction, physically and spiritually, when they first saw each other that first week.  Smitten at first sight really does exist!

Ben signed up to join the military a year or so ago, but a long story short, paperwork wasn’t completed to sign off on a particular situation, and basically he was not able to continue with it.  In fact, he is still working through completing the process of being discharged without incident because the fault was in the hands of the military administration.  So, if that had occurred, he would be stationed who knows where.

I had become really disenchanted this past winter, realizing now that I may be affected from time to time with seasonal changes.  It was a much colder winter here in North Carolina last winter, and it was wearing on me emotionally.  My hubby and I were very close to requesting a transfer ourselves into another church ward in order to “start over”.  Upon much prayer and consideration, we felt we needed to stay where we were.  Thus, Abbey and Ben were able to meet.

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As another timing element, Ben’s commitment to his conversion of the gospel of 2.5 years through action has proven to Abbey his strength, his desire to change and grow, and the depth of his character.

As they contemplate marriage together, Abbey will most likely postpone college to work full-time and continue pursuing the writing and publishing of her books again.  It comes at a time when I am looking for full-time workers in my home that she has done before.  Further, there was a glitch over the past year wherein a family member in the home cannot work with her own siblings under 18.  She was grandfathered in for this year, but one of her brothers will become an adult in September, who will also increase in hours/need, and his worker is having a baby, so she can just roll into working with that brother.  Coincidence?  or blessing?

Ben and Abbey

I talked of the physical evidences of blessings received so that they would come together just at the right time in their lives to recognize a perfect match.  But it doesn’t even include the perspectives that line up such as Ben wanting to work with Abbey’s brothers who have autism (he didn’t even bat an eye at their differences, but was rather intrigued), or that he enjoys our family and likes to hang out with us (our bond is important) and they should be able to live near us since he’s a North Carolina boy and the career he’s pursuing is nursing (lots of opportunities nearby), or that he totally supports the idea of homeschooling because he admires so much how Abbey represents her upbringing (he finds her clever and talented), but that Ben also wants to learn and grow alongside Abbey and carve out a path they can create together in a mindful way (which lifelong learning is so important to Abbey as an unschooler and true follower of Christ).

Though Ben’s and Abbey’s journeys start from almost opposite spectrums, they have come together at the right time on that journey with attributes, experiences, and perspectives that blesses one another.  What a blessed love they have!

Of course, Abbey says that his being tall, dark, and handsome, his smelling wonderful, and his being a great kisser doesn’t hurt!

Kissing at the pool

About Being Beautiful

I’ve been thinking about my daughter, Abbey, a lot lately as she traverses her time at college. We have an amazing relationship and she gifts me access to her journey. Recently on my Homeschooling Creatively list, a concern was shared about someone’s daughter and how she was socially different from the other girls. I believe this is one of the benefits of homeschooling. On the other hand, one has to have a strong foundation to stand unique among a sea of cultural conditioning on what beauty is and standing for who you are.

I feel I did two things to buoy up my children: Our learning environment is strengths-based and gift-centered, so they each have had an anchor of their specialness and knowledge of their gifts going into the teen years. And we did a lot of talking and discussing and exploring as anthropologists of sorts as to why young people do the things they do and believe the things they believe and adopt the things they adopt. Through this process, each of my children were able to mindfully choose what they believe, adopt, and do.  Because of this, each of my children seems to be able to embrace their differentness, allow it to shine out as they stand tall, even as they travel the road to finding their place in the world.  It seems to exemplify the idea of “being in the world, but not of it.”   Choosing to unschool requires it; having been unschooled naturally unfolds into it.

Anyway, I listen to music as I drive, and this song grabbed my attention as I thought of my daughter. I told her about it, and she immediately asked, Is it “Beautiful to Him”? She loves the song as much as I do. Here are two YouTube videos using the song from two different young women (whom I don’t know) in our worldwide church that I thought did a nice job.  Enjoy!

(Anyone want to share with me how to embed videos?)

watch?v=BE5KBtePL90

watch?v=0WL6T04L7U0

Here are the lyrics:

“Beautiful to Him”
by Rachel Thibodeau

So much noise, so much peace destroyed,
I can hardly hear the voice, leading me through the void,
So much noise.
The world’s little lies,
Destruction in disguise, opportunities to compromise,
To make me beautiful in their eyes,
But I’m not gonna buy the world’s little lies.

‘Cuz I define myself and find my beauty in the light He gives.
I’m refined by His divine intentions every day I live.
It doesn’t matter what the world believes,
Or what they say that beauty means,
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I want to be beautiful to Him.

He’s given me His trust, so I’ll be strong enough,
To run from a dangerous touch, I don’t need that kind of love,
I don’t need that crutch, He’s given me his trust.

I define myself and find my beauty in the light He gives.
I’m refined by His divine intentions every day I live.
It doesn’t matter what the world believes,
Or what they say that beauty means,
It comes from within,
I want to be beautiful to Him.

I know how to shine, my life’s not really mine.
It’s not about a worldly climb, it’s all about His design.
So in His eyes, I want to shine.

‘Cuz I define myself and find my beauty in the light He gives.
I’m refined by His divine intentions every day I live.
It doesn’t matter what the world believes,
Or what they say that beauty means,
It comes from within,
I want to be beautiful to Him.

I want to live to have His peace,
And feel the holiness He seeks.
It comes from within.
I want to be beautiful… to Him.

Socks – In Memorium

Our beloved Socks, the patriarch cat and oldest Gaddis pet, died last night at the age of 17 years, having lived in feline happiness from August 22, 1992 until December 9, 2009.  He was older than 4 of my 7 children, and lived with us longer than 3 of my 7 children.  He was our first official pet.  He was the only cat we actually bought, from a lady who discovered she was allergic to him.  He was 1.5 years old and we brought him home in March, 1992.  We were living in our first home in Gibsonia, PA:

I have a couple fond memories of Socks in our first home (from February, 1994-April, 1995).  The first was that I had him in Weston and I’s bedroom the first couple weeks as he acclimated to our home with four small children.  He had these little fuzzy balls that his previous owner said he really liked.  Well, one morning I awoke to something dropping on my hand.  When I opened my eyes and looked, it was one of those little fuzzy balls and Socks was staring at me . . . waiting.  Puzzled, I picked it up, pondered, then decided to throw it.  Off Socks shot, so I closed my eyes.  Seconds later, I feel a plop on my hand again, and there sat Socks, staring at me . . . like a dog!  What?!  It wasn’t long before his more human-like personality emerged.  Here is Socks shortly after getting him:

Further, Socks was to be an inside cat.  However, Socks did not like this idea whatsoever.  He had already endured 1.5 years of his life inside, sitting at the windows craving to be outside, and he took every opportunity to try to trick us when we came in or out of the house to try to escape.  In June of 1992, we heard a meow from our front bushes and out came a brown tabby male stray cat.  He began to take the next few weeks trying to get into our house, as Socks tried to get out.  Weeks later, I decided to give up and invited the stray, Bob, inside and released Socks to be free to come and go outside.  That began a beautiful relationship between the older and wiser Bob who would teach Socks how to hunt and be an outdoor cat.  Here they are:

Our family has wonderful memories of sitting on our back deck of this first house at around 6:00-7:00 p.m. and watching the “cat games” between the two cats.  Apparently, Socks was to try to sneak up behind Bob without him noticing.  Whenever Bob would turn and look, Socks would stop stalking and try again later.  One time, Socks was mid-flight towards pouncing on Bob when Bob turned to look, and Socks literally somehow did a flip in the middle of the air and landed beyond him as he had “lost” again.  The good news is that Socks became a good hunter and began his love of the outdoors.

Our first house was short-lived before it was time for our family to transfer to Kentucky.  Naturally, Socks and Bob came with us.  Here is our second home we owned:

We lived here from March, 1995 until May, 1998.  Since it was our first move with a pet, we wanted to be sure to acclimate our cats to the new home before allowing them outside.  However, they were eager to explore their outside environment, so about 2 weeks into it, we let them out.  And they disappeared.  It was days, and they were not the type to leave our yard, so we became concerned.  Now, a week into their disappearance, I began to accept the inevitable.  In fact, Weston saw a dead black and white cat up the road, and we feared it was him, though we could not tell.  I came home to find Abbey in her bedroom, praying, about the cats.  With all faith, she pleaded that Heavenly Father would bring them home.  I remember specifically thinking, “Oh, no, now her faith will be tested,” since I was sure they were gone.  I tried to talk to her, but Abbey matter-of-factly stated, “Oh, Socks and Bob will be coming home.”  As I stayed inside to comtemplate the hardship of it all, I heard her yell to me, “Mom!  Socks and Bob are home!”  And sure enough, as I ran downstairs, there they were.  In the end, it was my faith that was strengthened, from a child’s.  Though we lived near a busy road, our cats seemed smart enough to stay away from it and stick to the surrounding fields as their foray places.  Here are some pictures of Socks in Kentucky.  This is him hiding under Eli’s bed:

And him sitting in Alex’s high chair:

Then it was time to move again . . . to a log house in central PA:

We only lived in this backcountry home for a short six months in the year 1998 (June-December), but it was a time of healing and peace and tranquility . . . for most of us.  Socks, however, must have wondered where we dragged him as one evening, with the windows open as this place had no air conditioning with the natural coolness of the wooded lot and high mountaintop we were living upon, when we heard what appeared to be a cat scream . . . a BIG cat scream.  Stupid us grabbed a flashlight and went out on the porch and shined where we heard the noise.  On one side of a large tree was a cougar, and on the other side of that same tree, with wide-eyes, was Socks!  Apparently they bumped into each other, and when we came, the cougar slowly turned around and walked away.  Socks, however, zipped into the house.

Circumstances created the opportunity for us to move more “in town” to civilization here at the Lindy house:

We were at this house from December, 1998 until May 2000.  Initially, the cats stayed in the basement (we now had Belle and one of her kittens, Sunflash, but Bob had passed away in KY) because we had added a dog, though a few months into this house, we found a new home for him as it wasn’t fitting our lifestyle yet at the time.  However, Socks was one never to be kept up, so he dared to come around the house faster than the others, as well as outside.  Here he is on Abbey’s bed:

And here he is outside:

From here, it was moving to North Carolina into our Trinity home:
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We were in this house the longest we had ever lived anywhere:   from June 2000 to December of 2007.  Weston began to do English gardening around the home and this is where Socks became our Ferdinand cat, sleeping under the rose bushes many hours of most days.  Here are the pictures from that home, all with the theme Outside!  Here he is with Sunny:

And near the front of the house:

Socks and I, and Socks and Eric had the closest relationship.  Socks slept in my bed for years at my feet.  Here he is with me on the back deck of this house:

 

He also starred in a movie made by Abbey for Alex found here:

continued here:

and concluded here (stay tuned after the “The End” for a surprise):

Finally, we ended up at our final (hopefully) home here in our log house in central North Carolina:

I was able to get some pictures of Socks sleeping under the bushes in our new house.  He had to wait a bit until Weston transferred some of our roses from the old house to the new one.  It was never quite the same as the old house, but it would do.   He also got really, really old . . . skinny and clumped fur from not grooming, but he was still so strong in spirit that I just couldn’t put him down.

The star quality of Socks continued as patrairch of the cat home and Abbey wrote a book about him in a series of books about all the cats for Alex for Christmas.  Here is his cover:

In highlighting the life of Socks, we also highlighted the travels of the Gaddis family.  He has been with us from the first house we purchased, to our last.  His spirit carried his body farther than it was meant to go, and we celebrate his strength and love he always shared.  Joseph Fielding Smith has said that the spirits of animals will be resurrected.  We believe that so strongly, and having shared the love of Socks, it could not be any other way.  We will see him again!  Until then, may he rest in peace until he can frolick in the gardens of Heaven.

Faith and Unschooling

At the beginning of the year, when I was reading various blog posts, I came across some great thoughts over at Loving Him 4 Ever. Interestingly, as I went to look up the reference, it appears a break has occurred for the blog author since writing this post. I hope there is more to come! Anyway, here is an excerpt that particularly caught my attention:

I’d like to share some things I believe God has given me recently.

The first thing was Deut 6:6-7…

6And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: 7And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up

This speaks to me that we are to bring our children alongside of us as we live life and they will be mentored and learn from us…there will be an impartation of our spirit into theirs…but is comes thru relationship with them..a good, solid, loving relationship with them…one where they can trust us to love them unconditionally…

Two weeks ago today, William was baptized by his older brother.

Afterward, his father (and my hubby of almost 23 years!) confirmed William a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and bestowed upon him the gift of the Holy Ghost by the power of the priesthood which he bears.

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Almost right after the lovely gathering dispersed, William excitedly approached me and asked, “Do I get to have my own scriptures now!?” It was very interesting for several reasons. One was that I had not discussed this as any “rite of passage” or anything before obtaining your own scriptures, so I wonder why he associated it as such. However, in the past, that is when the children have typically taken up owning and carrying their own scriptures (though he has two older brothers who don’t do so; therefore, it isn’t a given). Second, was how eager he was to obtain his own scriptures (this from a boy who LOVES presents that are toy driven, yet this is so spiritual driven, and he doesn’t read yet).

So, it got me to thinking about this passage that I found above as well as the post that I wrote over at Life Without School a while ago found here. I do things quite a bit differently as it pertains to how I share my faith with my children, and all the attributes that go with that. For instance, it is common to start very young with children to pray alongside them so they “grow up with it”; therefore, they will continue with it as they are older. The same could be said of owning and carrying one’s scriptures from a young age, whether they can read or not, just to create a “habit.”

I didn’t do that with my children. Instead, I did as the scripture above indicates: I lived and spoke of it, in my home and outside of my home, as I awoke and as I went to sleep, as I walked and as I lay; it incorporates every aspect of my life. What I found was that my children each came to desire it for themselves when they were old enough to make that choice and recognize the value in it. I saw it with prayer, scripture study, serving a mission, Sabbath Day observance, and all the other myriad of goodly things to seek after.

In our church, there is an “age of accountability” whereby people are old enough to know right from wrong, make correct choices, and understand the consequences of actions. That age is 8. William actually turned 9 years old the day after his baptism. With his learning difficulties, I felt another year was in order and that proved to be of benefit as I saw him really embrace for himself his own desire for the important saving ordinance of baptism.

Interestingly, it is often found through brain research that the ages of 8-10 years is formative in the ability to discern, learn, and assimilate. Many of my children are right-brained learners, William included, and it is not until this age that many higher level thinking abilities emerge. The previous years are ones of building a foundation that will create so much of what will be needed for the proceeding years of growth and understanding. I see this both with academia as well as spirituality. You can include emotional and physical in there as well, from my vantage point. Pretty cool, really. It’s just another testament of the Truth that I live.